Whiny baby tai chi?

Workout - Standing Meditation
I like training. I look forward to the challenge and newness that each training session brings. But I don’t want to start a lot of the time. I turn into a whiny baby. “But its going to be hard” "I'm going to have to pay attention" etc. etc. Then I just start the timer and before I know it its over, AND its not that bad. Actually was working up to stand longer. Whatever whiny baby. But getting over that hump is difficult and sometimes I’ll even do a warm up stand just to get into it, like warm up laps in a pool. I do a bad stand with bad mental just to get the feeling of standing going. Don't know if you're supposed to do that. Sometimes its the time of day that brings challenge, sometimes it’s the amount of work I have on my schedule. Not sure why the resistance comes at different times. Its interesting that as you engage in something good for you some part of you is pulling back against it. Is this the thing you are trying to overcome or destroy? Why is it in the way sometimes and sometimes not. Asleep? Thinking about  some resent learning about standing and how that combats the fear response, well what does it do for this part, is this different? I am fearful about getting started. Does the process of standing slowly fade it out or does something else happen? I like to think it is working on it. The more you confront this feeling and just keep training, seems to me the only appropriate thing to do. That feeling of resistance is irrelevant to the training, I know, but it affects me because it hinders me getting into it and sometimes going deep, because "I don’t want it to hurt," and "I don’t want it to work that hard" because I have other things on my mind. So maybe it is the fear response going or maybe its whiny baby tai chi. Sifu says,“Don’t talk just train." But he also has a rule about "No Whining Allowed," so I'm thinking I better shut up and just start training.