TJ June 9-10

Thur./Fri. June 9-10:  Did most exer. (bitter pill, a little standing, waving hands, rocking, open/close) - last two days had very bad sessions, whole body tension that i cannot alleviate.  One day I feel completely soft and stretchy, the next completely locked up and disconnected.  No connection to legs and feet and everything stays very high in the body.  I can't figure this out, especially when considering all the practice I do in relaxation and sitting meditation.  The mind even goes everywhere and can't calm it down.  Bitter Pill feels jerky and tight and all movements seperated, waving hands was a little better but getting the tension locked in the shoulders and traps and feel seperated from the legs, definitely no expansion down the yang surfaces.  When this happens, the mingmen feels very closed and the perineum will not drop.  The "fullness" feels like it won't drop below the solar plexus and the face and jaws feel tight.  It's even difficult to merely stand up.  During open/close, when i drop a little deeper it gets a little better when the kuas feel like they have to open and the shoulders give a little, but need to learn how to be consistently at ease from the beginning.