Thur. Aug. 11: Finally convinced my fiance to push and spin hands with me occasionally, finally have a partner to train with. Have continued regular regimen while waiting for stage 2 to begin. First time spinning hands noticed that I was having a hard time dealing with contact and fending force while maintaining 13. Feet felt very heavy and whole body was uncomfortable, and was easily pushed and pulled by my partner due to tension. Began to become very tired and especially fatigued in the shoulders and arms. Took approx 1 inute break because I felt that everything was incorrect, including the feeling and all the movement, alignment etc. While resting I began open awareness meditation while standing there. The body became very light and clear and the tension dissappeared, I got that "internal feel" and pressure in the body and the alignment began to manifest itself. I decided to try and keep this state and continue spinning hands and as soon as contact was made the alignment principles came about on their own. First the crown suspended very noticeably and when this happened all of the rest followed almost immediately. The entire body felt extremely light and transparent as if I wasn't even really there, and there was a sort of magnetic field sense around me. I concentrated very hard to keep the ease and lightness (especially lightness of the feet, it was as if they weren't barely touching the floor as Sifu describes), and the contact with my partner was also very light to the touch, but I was able to push her and pull her around very easily. What was interesting was that at the moments of pushing her out I noticed that my arms, body, feet, etc. and especially my contact point with her felt even lighter. So I began to understand to a small degree the counter-intuitive nature of what we are doing, and also how fajin is a result of "release" instead of issue. My movements flowed very smoothly as if swimming in the air and the entire body moved in unison, each part with the other. Whenever a part (arm, shoulder, etc.) would break away from the coordination of the rest of the movement of the body (like if I tried using a little force) it would immediately become heavy and tense again. The whole thing was truly effortless and brought to light much of what has been taught to a new degree.
EVERYTHING Sifu describes is important! Each detail. They all must be present and if even one is missing they all are missing, I believe this is the meaning of "harmony". For the first few weeks of stage 1 there were aspects that I focused on more than others, and even devoted practice time to one or another exclusively, but what I'm finding out is that none of these things can be done independently, they are part of a whole that manifests as a state of being or mind. When Sifu says "don't 'do' anything" or "do not make power" he means exactly that. These principles and alignment points and states cannot be "done" physically (as was my approach for the better part of stage 1), they are the result of maintaining awareness and being present. It is hard to describe the feeling exactly, but it was of a quality completely different from doing movements or trying to line up the body. I felt like a ghost, and the moments where I felt the softest or the "weakest" were the moments when I had the most control or was able to effortlessly toss my partner, it was very hard to wrap my head around the first couple of times. The mind truly controls the body in this movement, I didn't feel like I was moving my body really at all, I would just move that "field" around whichever direction and the body would just follow, and there was no perceived tension anywhere. I wish I had stumbled upon this from the very beginning as I believe I could have understood Sifu's teachings the first time around. I had thought I had an understanding of the concepts and descriptions, but I was way off.
So my advice to those who read these posts.... take EVERYTHING Sifu says at its most literal and direct meaning, and don't dismiss any aspect of any lesson as they are all required and pertinent.