I have been doing this training long enough to recognize the states that my body goes through during the learning process. Right now my body is "in between". It's not what it was. It's not what it's transforming into yet. But, it is in a new and interesting phase. My whole body is perceived differently than before. I have found so much body dysmorphia, perceiving my body in a way that does not reflect reality, is the root of the lack of integration in my body.

Last night I felt like I actually had some kind of real sensation of standing. In earlier weeks of the pratice sometimes while doing the standing mediation I would shift my weight from front to back or back to front very slightly to try and see what alignment would bring out more clear sensations of backstop, foot couple, bones pushing, tissue pulling.

Yesterday while I was waiting for something to finish baking I did some arm swings and then some standing. When I was standing I felt like underneath my skin or maybe between my skin and my fascia there was some bubbling or some kind of pulsing feeling going on, maybe related to my hearbeat but it didn't seem to quite sync. This was going on in the space in between my shoulder blades. Is this the kind of stretch we are trying to accomplish with this warm up or was this maybe just a coincedental feeling.