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Precision

I've heard this word ever since I started training with my current teacher. Hes always talking about precision and more correct movement. At first you have to do the big movement to get a general feel. You need the right choreography to be in the ballpark. THEN you can start to work on refining movements. THEN more and more refinement. Apparently thats all :) I'm finding this to be more and more true. I'm finding that strength lies in how precise you can be. The whole game is that to see whe can be more precise. I saw Master Sam FS Chin make a hairline movement correction on a posture that my teacher was doing and I thought, "wow such a minut change, interesting how that could be the way to go deeper. I'm starting to see that if you miss by a fraction of an inch, you might as well miss by a mile because the movement is not as correct as it could be and the energy in your body will be off. This take immense concentration and awareness to be able to see and recognize these changes and the further refining. This is a tough road, but as long as you keep training and digging you will be able to recognize these little things. Happy training!

photo: ©psdgraphics.com

Safe Space

Too often in our lives are we in places that demand things of us. Work and home are two of the big ones, but rarely in this world do we have dedicated time to recharge our batteries. If we do have time to workout or something similar, its usually a rush to get there and a rush to get back to the routine. I believe that because of the partner training in ILC the aim is different. Our goal is about feeding your partner the right energy or the right feel. Therefore our training becomes a process of building each other up. Even though we put a tremendous amount of effort into what we do we are working towards a state of more naturalness, therefore the results are more profound. This also makes for a very nice training space. This is a place we go several times a week to recharge our batteries and a place where we can be built up. Sounds good to me.

Call of the Bones

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about the idea of "gom" which is the Chinese word for "become familiar with." As I pay more attention to my alignment at work, I am trying to uncover more and more of my body structure. I've noticed recently when i'm working on alignment I am more aware of my bones. Then, keeping in mind my bones while having a meditative mind, I just try to get to know this feeling. Whats been happening now is that throughout the day, when I get caught up in work and lose my meditative mind, I feel "called" back to this space. My mind goes back to this place where I am aware of my bones. It sounds weird, but its like my bones are calling to me to stay in that place. I can't say for sure what this place feels like, but I feel much more at ease when I maintain this. Kinda interesting.

photo: © liveinternet.ru

Stillness

One of the things I have noticed as I go through my training is a feeling of greater stillness. I’ve always had a relationship to this especially in my osteopathic training. Stillness was something that I arrived at near the end of a treatment. It is serene peaceful quiet. A similar feeling arose when I started meditating or get deep into a prayer. Its that end feeling before you go back to your normal daily activities. However the unique part of this is that it is arising all the time now. In the middle of the day while I’m at work I can look out the window and all of a sudden there it is. In the middle of training during a deep qigong exercise its there, but more than just mental stillness I feel it in my body as if it were a quiet lake, undisturbed. The unexpected part about the stillness is that it is starting to become my normal state, more or less of course. I see the stillness all around, in and around people, object, through everything, despite how chaotic a situation or an area may be it is always there enveloping all of us.

Also my osteopathic treatments have changed too. Now instead of the stillness arising at the end of a treatment its is my starting point. Where it goes after I have no idea, but I guess my next step is to explore this.

photo: Chris Shepherd c 2011 shepherdpics.com

Privileged

I remember sitting in Malaysia after finishing dinner at a corner restaraunt with my teacher. We were looking up at our hotel and I remember him saying how lucky he felt that he gets to train this material and how lucky he felt to have to time to travel across the world to train with a master. Reflecting on this I see how lucky we really are. How privileged I feel to be in this position that I can work to make my body healthy and train this awareness. It was so random the events that brought me to this place. What if I had not taken that class? What if I hadn't moved? What did I do to get so lucky?........thank you....

photo: desktopwallpaper.org/wallpaper/Plumeria-Flower

Puffed Chest

As I get more into tai chi training I am looking for opportunities to train throughout the day. As I do this I try to maintain my body posture and alignment all the time.

I was with my roommate at a bar recently. I don't frequent bars especially busy ones with lots of people. School near the U of A had just started so there were lots of students out. We started by walking through the crowded bar looking for a place to sit. I noticed after a little while of walking that my body alignment was totally off, specifically my chest. I was starting to puff it out as if I was a tough guy. I chalked this up to habit, and also noticed that most all the other guys and even girls were doing this too

Is this how we project toughness? Is this attractive? I see that this is all now as pretty ridiculous and I felt pretty funny doing this. I guess the important thing now is that I'm aware of what I'm doing and can change. It was interesting though as I got into that environment my body automatically assumed previous habits...time to change I guess.

As I assumed better posture I became more comfortable in the environment and could relax and enjoy myself more.

photo from: noelkingsley.com

Level 2 Grading

Student level 2 grading threw me for a little bit of a loop. By this point I was feeling comfortable with the material and felt as if grading would not be too difficult. Since there are only 5 drills to know for this level I felt that grading should have been pretty benign and go quickly. Wrong I was. I was asked to show more and more precision in the drills than I was expecting and really had even prepared for. I prepared for the general big motions, but there is always more precision as I found out. The 35 min. of grading I had was grueling and I got more frustrated as I went through because of my beginning expectations of this "being in the bag." I see now that I got caught up in my expectations and that made grading much more difficult than it had to be.

I've been told that grading is like a private lesson between you and your instructor. Grading is also an individual thing, taking you right up to your limit, despite how others may have graded. My expectations were completely irrelevant because thats not what being graded. I was looking at outcomes rather than the things required of me, so in other words I was out of the moment and already in the future. I've come to learn that as a situation becomes more and more uncomfortable, it is on you to maintain harmony. If you are dealing with a difficult person, again, on you to maintain self and harmony. I guess I learned this the hard way.

Fragility

Today I was a little kid chasing a ball into the street. I will spare the details, but more or less this is how it happened. It wasn't until I was in the middle of the cross walk did I notice the car coming from my left. I had only payed attention to the cars in front of me that were going the other direction. That car on my left had slowed, I'm guessing because he saw me. I was very surprised to see him all of a sudden, because I thought it was safe to cross the street when I did. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. A flood of questions rushed in as I analyzed the situation. I thought: what if the guy had been in a rush? what if he wasn't paying attention as so many of us do on the road?

So I'm taking a second to recognize THIS situation, but how many times has events like this happened before and i didn't recognize the situation for what it was? I strive in maintain awareness as best I can at all times, well... I got tunnel vision for a SECOND and this happens. Its hard to remain still after this. I keep thinking over and over, "I should be dead, how am I not dead?" "Why did that driver stop?" I keep thinking about if the situation went the other way...

All that I have worked for, all that I have strived to achieve, all that I still need to do. *SNAP* like that in a second, not paying attention, all could have been gone. The utter fragility of that event terrifies me. How so easily...well you get the picture. I'm learning that my life is made up of all these fragile events, and I think how did I even make it to this point? So many points in my life could have easily gone the other way. I wouldn't have my job today, perhaps my family, my life even. I shouldn't even be here. What did I do? Am I lucky? Is there a greater plan at work? What?

Just having recent events like this, brings about a lot of uncertainty and uneasiness in myself. I don't know if this is what opening up is, but know I'm not entirely comfortable with this, frankly it scares the shit out of me.

I don't have a conclusion...

I guess, just keep training and ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

photo: © news.bbc.co.uk

New York 2011

This past weekend I attended my first intensive retreat with Master Sam FS Chin’s in New York. Students and Instructors from around the world attended, trained, and lived together for 4 days. The days started at around 10am after breakfast together made by Master Chin. Sessions would last 2-3 hours with meals in between so approximately 8 hours of training a day.

After that the ‘other’ training began :). I was planning on grading for another student level so I used the evening free time to train the I Liq Chuan Butterfly Form. The second night I asked the Head Instructor in Russia, Alex Skazulob if he would make some corrections on my form. This questioned turned into a three hour training session that lasted close to midnight! We went through every step of the form, applications, and fajin training. Alex was showing two of us the form, but soon there were seven of us plus more watching. Thanks to his help I passed my grading! Impromptu training like this happened often. One question leads to many explanations leads to many more hours of training.

The big things that I got from the retreat are the importance of the basics and recognizing the principles within the training. I learned more about fajin and how to use relaxation and looseness to create power. I received a lot to work on for my next student level. I had the great opportunity to train with the top ranking students in this art, Alex Skazulob and Daria Sergeeva, both from Russia. Alex has a focused ferocity about his movements that are coupled with a complete experience of the I Liq Chaun curriculum making him a great teacher and a brutal fighter. Next was Dasha Sergeeva. I have never seen anyone with as much intensity as she does during training. Its all business when you train with Dasha, she is smooth and precise in her movements. It was funny because I easily outweigh her by at least 100 lbs, and did my absolute best to try keep up with simple exercises. You might not see in the picture how much I am sweating while she is calm and cool. I learned so much from training with both and I am grateful for their instruction.

One of the most significant parts of the trip for me was recognizing the fact that most of the people who attended love this art. The I Liq chuan family has very strong branches and it was so special to spend this time with people who are dedicated to spreading and sharing this art. Everyone was so generous with their time and efforts in sharing what they knew to people who wanted to learn. We talk about our home training group forming a place where you could go and feel at home and be built up by the group training rather than be depleted. This was the case as well at the retreat, but on a bigger scale. It was great!

Lastly, I am more convicted than ever that I Liq Chuan is my path and I have a renewed vigor and commitment to learn this material at a deeper level and to share this with others. I can’t wait for the next retreat!

The Dragon

Recently I took the second step to my board exam. In medical school there are three test that must be taken to obtain licensure. The first step is taken after your second year of school, this is an eight hour exam. The next is taken sometime after your third year and the written portion is also eight hours long. The third comes during residency. This is a national exam that is required to pass school though and stressful to say the least. I spent 6 weeks straight preparing for the first one. This time, I spent less time studying but the nerves and anxiety were still high.

This time though I have my training to back me up. To keep me in check. I’m about a year into my training by the time I took this test and the anxiety that completely overwhelmed me before was now surprisingly much more manageable. Maybe its the training, maybe its maturity, but the stakes were just as high, more so even this time around. Maybe because I had been through the first step I felt more comfortable, either way this test seemed to no longer have the "fangs" it did previously.

The night before, the anxiety was particularly strong, and then something happened. I could feel the anxiety rising from somewhere in my gut area and then... I decided I would have it no more, I was sick of this feeling. I decided this would not vice me as it had previously did. As I came to this realization, something vicious arose inside me and destroyed the rising anxiety. That's as best as I can explain. It was like the anxiety was a physical substance and something devoured it and it was gone. Gone. Its like this rising "snake" feeling that came from my abdomen into my chest was chased back into its hole and was gone.

We talk about this type of martial training awakening the dragon that lives inside all of us. Looking back on this I realize I was far off my “center.” I had gone to the extremes of my emotions. Here at the edge and a breaking point for me, the dragon, I believe, arose to take care of me. It was interesting. The mindset of: having enough.... was vicious, the feeling after was like nothing could affect me. I walked around the next day with somewhat of a ferocious mindset like I could take on anybody if they wanted to fight. Actually I kinda wanted to fight. Anyways, this feeling of ferocity and the ability to squash or suppress feelings has since gone, but I know its still there.

My teacher says that as you progress through this training powers will arise and special powers will go, it is important to not attach to them. They come for a reason and to accomplish a specific task and then they may or may not go, doesn’t matter. Keep training. You don’t train for the power, to attach to the power is a manifestation of ego, this pulls you from the present moment. So this power helped me for this moment to survive. I am grateful and I look forward to our next encounter...or maybe I don't...whatever keep training.

What Students Say About UCB Program & Everyday Life

Kalama Sutta (Kalama Sutra)

Do not simply believe what you hear just because you have heard it for a long time.
Do no follow tradition blindly merely because it has been practiced that way for many generations.
Do not be quick to listen to rumors.
Do not confirm anything just because it agrees with your scriptures.
Do not foolishly make assumptions.
Do not abruptly draw conclusions by what you see and hear.
Do not be fooled by outward appearances.
Do not hold on tightly to any view or idea just because you are comfortable with it.
Do not accept as fact anything that you yourself find to be illogical.
Do not be convinced of anything out of respect and deference to your spiritual teachers.

You should go beyond opinion and belief. You can rightly reject anything which when accepted, practiced and perfected leads to more aversion, more craving and more delusion. They are not beneficial and are to be avoided. Conversely, you can rightly accept anything which when accepted and practiced leads to unconditional love, contentment and wisdom. These things allow you time and space to develop a happy and peaceful mind. This should be your criteria on what is and what is not the truth; on what should be and what should not be the spiritual practice.