Standing and Bitter Pill journal
I thought I’d give an update on practice these last few months Sifu.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been noticing that Bitter Pill is starting to make a bit more sense to me. I don’t understand the deeper parts of it of course, but some things are becoming a bit clearer from what you said in the videos, especially with the extra stress from the house sale and other things going on, its becoming more apparent.
A part I found difficult to understand when you spoke about before, was the emotional side of Bitter Pill. I trusted what you said, but I wasn’t sure how any of it would actually show up for me in practice.
I still don’t understand it fully, but I think I can feel a small part of what you were pointing to.
As I stand, when the foot couple comes online and I stop collapsing, I do the 1000 yard stare, the body settles first, and then the mind follows shortly after. The noise or whatever emotion I was stuck in becomes less loud as long as the structure is actually supporting itself. And with things being so up and down recently with the house and other life stuff, that connection between collapse and emotional reactions has become more noticeable.
At this point I’m just observing what happens when I don’t interfere and the structure is there, rather than trying to interpret it. I’m no longer trying to make sense of it, I’m seeing what happens when I don’t interfere and have no intention.
In the last few months, the foot couple has become easier to maintain while doing the bitter pill movements, the steps, because of certain injury, Ive limited the practice.
I’ve also noticed that the quality of the sessions isn’t always the same. Sometimes it feels like I’m maintaining standing while doing the movements,and other times there’s more of an elastic or stretching type feeling near. Its not something Im putting my mind to, but just noticing the difference. It actually feels quite nice on the body afterwards in the day and wondering if that is ok Sifu?
Sometimes the gut area feels different after practice. Like the movements start up my digestive system after practice at times. In a good way.
With the Bitter Pill, I’ve also found that my sleep is better for a couple of days, and overall things feel less compressed in my body.
I just wanted to check if Im keeping aligned with the method Sifu?
Thank you and take care
Ps
Thank you for the advice before on sleep Sifu. I took your advice on the sugar spikes and dropping sensations during sleep, its stopped.
I notice some new sensations especially inside my legs and pelvic region while i am falling asleep. Just observing, its been something i would do while falling asleep since being a kid with liminal sleep and hypnogogia, but its not something I force and not disturbing my sleep.
Thank you and take care