Maintaining ease is not easy

Oddly, or perhaps not so oddly, maintaining ease has been quite the transformational highlight during my UCB journey. On the one hand, shouldn't ease be easy? On the other, it seems clear why this should be the case. Afterall, striving and forcing have been my primary path to achievement in so many areas of my life. Frustration arises when these primary modes do not produce the desired results that only come through maintaining ease. I feel my capacity for ease is expanding but I notice my propensity for forcing and striving much more clearly when standing. Comparatively, I have far more practice with forcing and striving. It's what feels comfortable. Incorporating ease into training is more foreign and produces all sorts of thoughts and emotion which I presume arise from self doubt.