Wks 4-7:
I have been exploring the effect of looking at, sensing, and exploring the foot couple. My experience has moved from sensing the foot as a passive object to experiencing it as a dynamic interplay of forces.
I used to practice Tai Chi standing for about 30 minutes a day, eg Preparation Posture and Raise Hands etc. My mental intention was to keep ‘sinking, sinking, sinking...’ while holding the shape. I began to feel heavy, and as a corrective, I started practicing Aikido's Irimi Tenkan, focusing on light stepping and turning. I would extend my foot to find the ground lightly, with my arms lightly extended. Afterwards, I would feel more connected, alive, and lighter on my feet, and my feet would feel alive. I've occasionally found that same foot feeling returning without having to do any stepping / footwork practice. It seems to stem from simply carrying an awareness of the backstop and the dynamic of the foot couple into my day.
Cavities
I decided that even though I thought I had a sense of the rear leg cavities, I would make that my focus starting around week five to see what emerged.
Two things happened:
- In my daily life, i realised I was tense here and releasing the areas behind my ankle and knee led to a feeling in my 'suspicious left leg' that my kneecap was slipping off. It was a really weird feeling, as if it was going to dislocate. I remembered having this feeling as a child and it was very uncomfortable, and as a child I made the decision to tighten the area to stop my knee coming apart. Currently The feeling comes and goes, and I keep working with the cavity awareness and so far my knee hasn't 'gone anywhere'.
- Another time, while paying close attention to the three back-of-the-leg cavities, I moved into a bend and it felt so different. It felt like my legs below the knee were just 'there,' as if I was on stilts. There was none of the releasing that causes a rising feeling or any ‘Tai Chi’ stuff; just straight, upward, no-nonsense support. As I practiced noticing this in standing and while moving in and out of the bend, I got the sense that I was moving from standing up, past a true vertical position, and into a slightly backward-leaning posture. The 'buttock cavity + pelvis/ lower back feeling highlighted this. I checked in the mirror and confirmed I was leaning back slightly.
Working with leaning back.
I have been in this leaning back posture position before, it was very habitual and I thougth that I'd worked out of it, many many years ago I practiced Alexander Technique which highlighted that that posture was my 'norm'. Obviously I've backslidden. I'm back looking at my stride length , too long and I will lean back to compensate etc, and accepting that I am going to feel as though I'm 'leaning forward,' in contrast to the familiar backward feeling I habitually feel to be straight. This time round, however, I am able to additionaly notice how different strides affect the cavities. When walking and standing, I am finding that there are times when my torso feels 'on top of my hips' in a different way, and movement seems to involve a lower back/top of the pelvis connection that is absent when leaning back. I have more points of reference than before. *
Shoulders
My shoulders continue to loosen up, and I have added 'scissors' to my arm swings and I enjoy the 'extension' of scissors.
* I am working under the assumption that the 'collapse' back needs addressing over time in order to fully 'carve out the U' and access the 'bones'