michael young's blog

I was training Standing and working on the foot couple. I activated the foot couple and the whole foot stretches out. As usual, during the short amount of time I can tolerate Standing I could feel the corrections to my foot and ankle alignments that happened and it produced the biggest feeling of stretch I've felt in my foot. It was along the outside edge of my right foot. My left foot and ankle need a lot more work than my right. This stretch was bordering on painful and I could feel my mind trying to avoid that pain and go away from it. I calmed myself and released into it.

If you would have asked how confident I was in my progress I would have said that I was really feeling everything was coming together and that i was feeling more comfortable in my body. Then, the week after Thanksgiving, everything shifted all of a sudden. The biggest thing that changed was my comfort level. Now, I have this "up" feeling at the solar plxus that pushes up on my throat. There are times when I suddenly sense what to let go of and it'll just drop away. Then, after some time, it will return and I don't know or can't feel what I need to let go so that it will drop down again.

I have been doing this training long enough to recognize the states that my body goes through during the learning process. Right now my body is "in between". It's not what it was. It's not what it's transforming into yet. But, it is in a new and interesting phase. My whole body is perceived differently than before. I have found so much body dysmorphia, perceiving my body in a way that does not reflect reality, is the root of the lack of integration in my body.